Dwelling on the past is somthing I find myself doing often. I don't necessarily think it's productive, counterproductive, even? But recently, I can't help but wonder, where does friendship go?
We cross paths with different people all the time, at various stages of our lives, and sometimes we are lucky that we have the friends from our childhood that we are able to bring them through to our adult lives, and nothing much has changed in the friendship, apart from, better flats and a more balanced diet (how we got by with the junk we used to eat at uni, I'll have no idea).
But what happens to the friends who we always thought would be there for a while, and that they were the real deal? Nothing bad or catastrophic actually happened, you just simply start texting or calling each other less and less, and meeting up becomes harder and before you know it, you realise the last time you spoke to them was 6 months ago?
Losing that type of friendship cuts deep, much deeper than I thought it would. You can't help but think, was it me? Did I not give enough time to it, have I done something wrong? You start to question everything about it and whether it could have been changed. It makes it so much harder when that person has been through a lot and you've helped them, and they've helped you when you were in need, but life and priorities have changed.
As we get older, it gets harder meeting people in London(ironic isn't it, in a city of 8.63 million people) that you genuinely click with - it's not impossible, just that extra bit harder to make a new friends and to have the friendship become as close as say a university friend is?
It's general food for thought but a life lesson is realising that sometimes we can't hold on to everyone we meet - no matter how optimistic and positive we are, it's impossible to spread yourself too thin amongst everyone. You have to know a point when you have tried and the other person has not given the same effort into the friendship as you have, this is the point where you need to question, are we done? Is this done?
This is when value comes into it.
If anything, you realise who are your closest and dearest, the ones you really value and cherish. A small part still holds out for the lost friendships that have outgrown time over the last year, and I'll still always hold out for them. Now, it's all about not thinking or dwelling on the past, and look forward to the new. Focusing on the ones I love, current and hopefully, future.