Monday, 2 October 2017

Why it's OK to drop that 'friend'

via Pinterest

This isn't the first time I've written about friendships before.

Whilst it's one thing to accept when your friendship with someone naturally drifts, but what about when you find yourself not being able to let go, and you are the one who always reaches out?

It's almost the step before the realisation that your friendship has changed, and you are in the 'you aren't quite ready to give up this friend yet' stage?

Recently I've been thinking about old friendships and how it feels to be the one that always reaches out, bends over backwards, and no matter what you do, they just never quite give you the same back.

I've been feeling like this as I realised a couple of friends who I considered to be good mates who I didn't see too often, but whom I still loved to catch up with from time to time, but who weren't simply making the effort. I would either suggest dinner at mine, or meeting up for a drink and they would either agree, but never fully commit to the plan and nothing ever seems to come out of it. 

I hold my hand up high that I try my best to keep friendships that are important to me going, and because I put in a lot of effort in my friendships, if I don't feel like I'm getting the same back, I can't help but feel let down.

What's made me realise is that, it really matters to me who I surround yourself with. It's really important to surround yourself with good friends that you love, who you know loves you.

It's a painful feeling when you slowly realise, 'hm, maybe I need to take a step back' with that particular friend.

And that's OK.

If you are important to them, they WILL come back to you, and if they don't? So what? You are worth much more than that. 

The real message here is to embrace the ones who truly matter to you. The inner circle chums.

Remember these ones:

This may be one or a few people but, this is, the bestie. The friend where it doesn't actually matter if you don't banter with them every second of the day, because you know that you can message them after a month or so and can just pick up wherever you left off.

The office squad. Your buds, your crew, will never let you down if you are having a shit day and all you want is a Pinot Grigio at the pub round the corner and generally to keep you sane when shit hits the fan. Don't underestimate how important this crew is, you spend most of your day with these lot, so appreciate them.

The uni lot, who all gather from the corners of the UK to meet up every couple of months or so, and when you finally do meet, it's like 2008 all over again. These girls have seen you at your worst, partied hard with you until the sun comes up, and have been the true soldiers when holding your hair back in the club loos.

To the ye olde faithful home group, the ones who shaped you. The ones who you have probably known since infant/primary/high school. The ones who keep you grounded, no matter what happens in life.

We lose a few people on the way as we get older, it's just life.

The true message is to truly hold the ones you love close to you, but always be open to new friends. Just because they don't share history with you, doesn't mean this won't happen.

Life's too short to be wasting time on the ones who never give you the love you deserve back.

F x

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